16th - 20th Aug - Viva Las Vegas

Bright lights city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire!

Well I'm in Elvis country, Viva Las Vegas and you may even find me going the dog, if the impersonater is good enough, hell I might even do a Britney and get married!

The flight into Vegas is uneventful and the drive to our hotel is rubbish, doesn't take us down the Strip and past any of the sites. We are staying at The Sahara (I've always seen the sign in the Elvis movies). The foyer is massive, totally mad. There are lots of people checking in and out and we stand in line. The room is nice but no view, The Sahara is now at the wrong end of the strip unlike in its hayday. We go for dinner - a buffet in the hotel - not a very good buffet but it's food. We get a free drink at the bar with one of the vouchers from the book we recieved at check in and then recieved our $10 of free betting money.

We try a few vending machines, too scared to try roulette, blackjack or craps. We neither win nor lose and walk away with most of the free money given to us. The Casino in the hotel is massive, the noise is frightening and the lights would give anybody a fit. We wander around and find a rollercoaster, various swimming pools and car racing machines all in the hotel.

Next day we take the monorail from the hotel down the strip to the other hotels and casinos. We get off at the last stop the MGM Grand, one of the biggest hotels in the world with 5000 rooms. We wander through and even play a few slots, winning nothing so look for the exit, none sign posted, we find this in all the casinos. Once you're in they don't want you to leave, you have to play 'find the exit' to get out. On our way out we do find the lions - they have two fully grown lions in a cage in the middle of the Casino. I felt reallt sorry for them and at the same time really jealous of the trainer who was in the pen cuddling them. I wan't to do that.
Next the Mandalay Bay Hotel which is a massive golden structure at the bottom of the strip. Inside it has a massive aquaruim called Shark Reef cos it's got lots of sharks in it. The hammer head and the saw tooth were the best.
After the Mandalay bay it's the Luxor a whole Egyptian Pyramid right in Vegas with a Sphynx and everything.
Next to it is the Excalibur hotel, which has to win the tackiest hotel competition. Outside is like a mideaval Castle with drwbridge and all. Except Castles aren't Shining white with blue and red turrets with Merlin greeting you in. The foyer has a couple of dragons in it.
My two favourite hotels were next on the strip across the road from one another. New York New York and Paris. New York, Now York boasts 8 of the buildings which make up the Manhattan Skyline including a Crysler Tower, Empire State Building and even A half size Statue of Liberty in a recreation of the hudson river and a tug boat at it's base. Paris has a size Eiffle Tower which you can go up and an L'arc de Triompe.

Inside both are recreated street scenes using streetnames from the actual citys. They are sort of cool in a kitsch way and are better than most of the other hotels who are trying to be a theme park.
We also venture into the Venetian resplendant with the Grand Canal and Gondolas going up and down it to St Maks Square. The last hotel we visit is Ceasars Palace. Leaving the best till last. this is the most over the top extravagant place imaginable. Every fountain in Rome has been recreated here and Ceasar and a couple of Centurains escorte Cleopatra around the place posing for pictures with passing guests.
To call Las Vegas Tacky is to totally underestimate it. A new word needs to be created it's totally over the top and way beyond tacky - these hotels cost a fortune and make a fortune.

Our last night we dicide enough is enough and we have to play roulette. We scan around and find two seats just vacated and take a pew. Not really having a clue what the etiquite is we get $20 each in chips and start very tentatively to play. Mairi is doing much better than me and is actually winning. At one point she goes to take her winnings and gets a very stern look from the croupier. the other guys at the table explain you cannot take your winnings until everybody has been paid out. I tell the guy he should have a big stick to hit people with, which everybody finds amusing and becomes the in-joke at the table. A funny wee guy sits down beside me and get a couple of hundred in chips and starts playing. His chips are yellow coloured and soon the entire third end of the table is covered yellow. He tells us his lucky number is 32 and covers anything near it with his chips and loses time after time. When the 0 comes up I say something that in the US they have a 0 and 00 decreasing the odds for them and increasing the winning for the house. I say it's 36 to 1 in Britain and he starts shouting 'Did you say sex - who metioned sex' this gets the other guys at the tables attention and I'm quickly repalying the conversation in my mind and realise 36 - six not sex. I try to explain this but he's not for any explanations. Mairi wins $35 and the wee guy says great she can take him for dinner - in his dreams. He eventually leaves, leaving us with Glen and Gaghan playing a bit more and getting a few free drinks as we do. This is not too bad on our $20 we manage to play for a couple of hours all the time getting free drinks from the bar. Could end up a cheap night out. Eventually we lose all our money - well all $20 and so retire to the bar with Glen and Gaghan, who very graciuously pay for more drinks - things are looking up.
We sit chatting for a while and then Mairi noticed it was 4 o'clock in the morning. We started playing about 9 and we're tired then - we all agree they pump oxygen into the air to keep everybody going and betting.
Vegas is a ball, totally over the top and complete madness. Now I know what it's all about I would go back and not just to do a Britney!